Friday, October 20, 2017

Why Taking Mental Health Days Is Important | With Dignity & Coffee

We can try and pretend like we’re at our best twenty four hours a day, every day of the week, but that’s in all honesty, crap. We all need a day sometimes to just... be.

While it's not always doable to take a day off of work or class, (or life, for that matter) when you have a day off, or even just a few hours to get zen, you should. Be a bit selfish. Because really, taking yourself is the opposite of selfish. When you're at your best, it's not only good for you, but everyone in your life. 

& when in doubt, let the words of tom haverford whisper to you: TREAT YOURSELF.

1// They Help You Refocus
It's easy to forget the 'why' in your day-to-day tasks, especially the less than thrilling ones. Taking a day to zen out will help refocus your energy and remind you of the why. 

2// They Help You Catch Up On Sleep
Let's be real, sometimes all you need is some zzz's, yes? We tend to put sleep on the back burner in our fast-paced lives when it should actually be one of the priorities. When we don't get enough sleep, we put our physical mental health at risk. It's important to stay focused & sharp, and sleep helps with that.  

3// They Leave You Feeling Refreshed
Going back to the re-focus point, when you take a day to just be, you come away from it feeling refreshed and with a new perspective on things, whether it's a specific task or life in general. When you feel refreshed, it's a thousand times easier to get to work. 

You got this. 


Dear Mayim Bialik.

Monday, October 16, 2017

Dear Mayim Bialik | In Response To Harvey Weinstein

Hey Mayim,

I think you're a pretty cool person. I admire your feminism, your love of education, and your views on religion & science.

However, on the subject of sexual assault, I feel you've missed the mark. I think I get the point you were trying to make, and while I agree with some of your statements, like the fact that "we live in a society that has treated women as disposable playmates for far longer than Mr. Weinstein has been meeting ingĂ©nues in luxury hotel rooms," the overall theme that appearance has something to do with assault leaves a sour taste in an otherwise well- written piece. 

Maybe that wasn't the theme you were intending, but it's what jumped out.

In my twenty three years, I have known too many women who have been victim to sexual assault. They come from various backgrounds, are of various ages & races, and in no case should their conventional beauty ‘number’ be a factor. See, when you ostracize ‘pretty girls’, it leaves a damaging notion that only those girls can be assaulted, and that girls must ‘tone it down’ in order to not be plucked out.

While it is true that thin, white, conventionally ‘pretty’ girls get picked first for the good acting roles- & that’s incredibly problematic- it’s also problematic to suggest that because you weren’t seen as a ‘10’, you lucked out in not becoming a victim.

It could’ve been you. 

It could be anyone reading your piece, watching your show. I’ve been catcalled while wearing what most would consider ‘modest.’ It doesn’t matter what you wear, if you go to the gym everyday or get manicures or rock Adele-worthy eyeliner.

Anyone can fall prey to gross, power hungry men (& women) and what we should be focusing on is how to stop it, and somehow I don't think that solution includes changing who you are.



Friday, October 13, 2017

Anti Trends | The Ones I Just Don't Understand

I cover a lot about the trends I LOVE, like velvet, off the shoulder, mules, DENIM, etc etc, but what about the things I'm not feeling so much? Because trust me, there's a few at the moment. So, I wanted to see which ones we agree upon & which ones might make me crazy:

Cold Shoulders In Winter
Don't get me wrong, a good cold shoulder can be pretty chic. But, WHAT IS THE POINT of them after maybe October? I've seen long sleeved cold shoulders, sweatshirts, even DENIM JACKETS. The point of jackets are to keep you warm!! Please, let's leave the open shoulders to the summertime.

Even I'm a little surprised at myself for this one since it's very 90s based, but I just can't get behind it! Sure, a cute little design on a sweatshirt is nice every once in awhile, but things seem to have gotten a bit out of control these days. Why is it necessary to throw three different flowers or other random designs on a single jacket? OR WORSE, pants? Why not just make it all over patterned? If you can pull it off, more power to you!

Cape Sleeves
Bell sleeves I can handle. I love a bell sleeve. But I don't really see the appeal of having a quasi-cape on your shoulders all through the day. How is that wearable? Doesn't it get annoying having your sleeve flapping around every ten seconds? Doesn't do it for me.

Platform Crocs
It was the shock heard round the world when Balenciaga debuted platform crocs down the runway. I'm sorry, but putting a couture name on it does not make it couture. Just like fetch never happened, neither will this. Please stop trying. For the love of everything.

What's on your anti-trend list?



Wednesday, October 11, 2017

What Mental Illness Is Not

I've thought of a lot of different ways to write this post. Should I write it all, how do I format it, etc etc... the questions were running through my head in a way that I realized, later than I should have, was anxiety. Anxiety affects my life in tiny little ways all the time.

The subject of mental illness used to be so taboo that it was completely swept under the rug, & in extreme cases people with the illness were just locked in a mental hospital, deemed to difficult too deal with. Even though there is still a stigma attached today, we are becoming increasingly more open on the topic, which is incredible to me. The more we talk about it, the more normalized it will become. The more likely people will be to get help when necessary & they are less likely to feel alone.

However, I've noticed that with this newfound sense of openness has come casualness. Phrases like 'I'm so depressed’ & ‘my ocd is kicking in’ have become commonplace and while it's great that the stigma is going away, we shouldn’t just toss those words around like an empty starbucks cup.

There must be a happy medium somewhere, right?

So in honor of world mental health day, here is what mental illness is not:

1// It's not a personality indicator. Maybe this one is more for me, because I find myself wearing the identifier ANXIETY on my chest like Hester Prynn donned the A that stood for something else. Don't get me wrong, it's good to be able to joke about your mental state & not let it get the best of you. (or at least pretend it doesn't.) But it's not our entire identity, even though most times it feels like it takes up our whole life. You are so much more than any illness.

2// It's not an excuse to be a sh*t person, or to treat people like they're disposable. We still know right from wrong. Never let the phrase 'it's not me, it's my illness,' slip from your vocabulary. Own your mistakes and learn from them.

3// It's not fun. It's not a cute, quirky thing worthy of desire. It's ugly and leaves a taste with which I equate to how week old trash smells.

It's tear-stained pillows and mascara-streaked cheeks, messages left on read because you feel too ill to respond, laying on the bathroom floor, isolation, fear, anger.

I say all this to say, it's okay to not be okay. Know yourself enough to know if you need help, & please, for the love of everything, stop saying OCD if you do not have OCD. (I'm looking at you, khloe k)

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