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On Loving When You Don't Love Yourself

Monday, July 4, 2016


FUN GAME: Take a shot of whatever every time I say the word love. Hurrah!

"You can't love someone until you love yourself." We've all heard it at some point or another, if not scripted out in a pretty font and background, by some teacher or counselor or friend or other well-meaning human. It's a quote that is possibly one of the most well-known and dare I say, one of the most untrue. Hear me out.

Picture this: a confused and clueless seventeen year old girl, scouring old episodes of One Tree Hill for any semblance of an answer to one two of life's greatest questions: "Will I ever love myself? Can I love other people??" Unbeknownst to past Kae, yes, yes I could. At the time, however, I was stuck wondering if the love I had for the people in my life was even real. I mean, I didn't really love myself. So I couldn't love anybody else, right?


Y'all know I'm 110% pro-self love. Loving yourself is truly a beautiful & grand thing. BUT it's also a process that can't happen overnight, and sometimes it's just not possible at the time. It is, however, always possible to love other people, & the notion that it's anything other than possible can be damaging and confusing. It can cause you to question your entire life.

The love I have for the people in my life, for my best friends, is a magical kind that I almost missed out on experiencing because I thought I didn't deserve it. I mean, it wasn't real, right? How could it be if I didn't love my own self every minute of every day? Here's a secret: 

It's easier to love other people than it is to love yourself. I think that's just fact. The things we say & think about ourselves would never even spend a second in our minds if it were about a loved one. And another thing: the love you feel, even if it's not for you, is so, so real. Don't get caught trying to become a different person just because someone thought they were handing out good advice. 

My advice? Just love. Work on loving yourself while you love others. Or don't; just focus all on you. That's ok too. But you need to know that the first option is a thing & not being 100% in love with you never invalidates the love you feel for other people, whether that's romantic, platonic, or even the love you have for your cutie pet. It's all real. 


outfit details
dress | rue21 (similar here & here)
pearls | unknown, similar here
wedges | STEVIES (similar)


xo,

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